It’s 1983, and a group of stereotypes sit in Saturday detention, monitored by Mr. Roker, their wheelchair bound teacher…a teacher with a secret past that is revealed when he sustains an injury during our not quite breakfast club. You see ol’ Roker was a black ops soldier before turning to molding young minds, and that knock on the noggin sends him into full on murder machine mode as he pursues our heroes trapped within the confines of the school. See! The unbelievable demise of Ron Jeremy (labeled as such because said demise didn’t involve any form of venereal disease)!  Experience! Odd editing and reaction shots! Question! Why these asshats didn’t just tip this fool over and call it a day (well, that one gets answered actually…it seems our terrible teacher is pretty badass in or out of the chair).

    Billed as a horror comedy, Getting Schooled isn’t very funny…but what it is though is a fun little pastiche of genre tropes from that golden age of the stalk n’ slay slasher flicks, the 1980’s. With it’s rather unique wheelchair bound antagonist, things are unique enough that it doesn’t feel like a retread of something you may have seen before, and the cast, for the most part, does a pretty good job of keeping us engaged, especially Tom Long as the psychotic Roker (though the inclusion of a Flock of Seagulls haircut was enough to keep your’s cruelly entertained…hey; it’s the little things, ya know?) not to mention that the runtime is a lean and mean hour and twenty minutes…that magical length that makes fright flicks flow smoother than kibble from a werewolf’s ass. Also of note; the gore on display here, while not mind blowing by any means, is achieved with sweet, sweet practicably goodness; and that always will get bonus points from this creep!

    On the downside; this things has quite a few seems showing. When scenes cut between characters, the reactions on display don’t seem to match whatever was just said, and speaking of “said” the ADR in some scenes is glaringly abysmal and a few of the performers seem a little green to the whole acting biz. Do those things hurt the film? In my opinion, no…but I know some of you out there are picky when it comes to polish, so there you go.

    I think if you dig on the slashers, you’ll find Getting Schooled a serviceable but light weight entry in the genre. It doesn’t have that certain “something” that makes it stand (severed) head and shoulders above the rest, but with it’s strong performance from Long and it’s decent gore, it is an entertaining way to spend some time engaging in the ol’ horror biz!



    Daniel XIII
    Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

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