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    Monty is a raging Hercules of a man whose hobbies include constantly flexing and posing, exercising, being angry at homosexuals (don’t worry creeps, the amount of homoerotic content more than equals this out) and feminists, and F’n a blow up doll while watching a slideshow of pictures of himself. Well this real humdinger of  a human being lives with his intellectual brother Bertin who has a few interests himself including rare and unusual animals, one of which is just a man that lives in a birdcage (and has pointed ears, sings hymns, and plays with himself…oh, and I think he’s supposed to be an angel)…aaand here we go.

    As the story of the siblings plays out we are treated to Bertin’s dreams of being pregnant with his own mother (don’t worry, the duo’s eye patch sportin’ Granny aborts the fetus with a darning needle), vague dream-like dialog, outrageous amounts of incestuous overtones (fun for the whole family!), massively unsubtle religious allegory, and Monty’s abusive ways to his homosexual clients as a male prostitute. Oh, and there’s scarf masturbation fantasies…of course.

    Anyway as off-kilter as this all seems; when the actual turning point in the plot (which is also the beginning of an actual plot as well) occurs at about forty two minutes in, things get impossibly more surreal. You see, a nun named Lilith (who also featured in that scarf fracas mentioned previous, and who is actually the succubus first wife of Adam as mentioned in the Bible) arrives and begins laying some insane philosophy on the boys (replete with images of nuns birthing eggs filled with blood). Things get weirder from there, believe me (think stuffed grizzly bears, cows, and chicken pot pie); and by the time you get to the big finish your head will positively be either spinning or raw from so much scratching.

    As you may surmise; this flick is absolutely, positively not for everyone (hell, I’m not even sure it’s meant for anyone); but I’ll be damned if it isn’t captivating as all get out. The whole affair makes little to no sense, but it just flows and gels together in such a unique and ultimately disturbing way I just couldn’t take my putrid peepers off it! And as bizarre as the goings-on are; there is some amazingly strong acting in this, especially from lead Trevor Goddard…seriously, if you only know this dude as Kano from Mortal Kombat you’ll be amazed at what a solid comedic actor he could be. Also of note is the tour de force performance of Sally Kirkland as the mysterious and sexual Lilith; she owns every outrageous act asked of her by the film and delivers with astonishing aplomb.

    All in all I can safely say that there is absolutely nothing like Flexing With Monty; it’s an in-your-face absurdist masterpiece and should be viewed by those that enjoy having their brains pummeled into absolute mush by unrelenting weirdness, yet having their eyes lovingly caressed by some truly breathtaking imagery, all coated in a thick veneer of sleaze and wrong!

    Daniel XIII
    Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

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