Latest posts by Edward Ellsworth (see all)
- I’ll Be In My Trailer: Kong: Skull Island is the Feel Good Comedy of the Year! - 7th March 2017
- I’ll Be In My Trailer: Beauty and the Beast Serves Up Stale Urinal Cake - 7th February 2017
- I’ll Be In My Trailer: Cars 3 Depicts a Dystopian Future Populated by Driverless Cars - 16th January 2017
I’ll Be In My Trailer is an ongoing series where I review a film before it is released, based entirely on the trailer.
On day one of clown college I learned the most important rule of comedy: monkeys are funny. This is one of those axiomatic truths like “water is wet”, “2 + 2 = 4” or “reality television is the worse plague since the black death”. These truths are self-evident.
Warner Brother’s new blockbuster Kong: Skull Island demonstrates this rule better than Vince Offer demonstrates the Slap Chop. This movie is 2 hours of sidesplitting monkey antics the likes of which we haven’t seen since Ronald Reagan tried to teach morality to a chimpanzee in Bedtime for Bonzo.
I know what you’re thinking, “Hey moron, King Kong is a giant ape, not a monkey! #TaxonomyMatters” I’m well aware of that but what you might not realize is that apes haven’t been funny since 2016. So for this review, Kong is a monkey. #RIPHarambe
The film accomplishes its amazing comedic feats through the simple application of mathematics. The formula is simple: monkey = funny, therefore monkey + big = big funny. The entire premise of Kong: Skull Island is monkey + big. That means big funny. Like, really big funny.
The giant monkey alone is enough to fill the laugh prescription but the writers decided to go for a fatal overdose by bringing in a character you would never expect. That’s right, Dan Conner from Roseanne.
If you watched the last season of Roseanne you might remember the revelation that Dan Conner had died in season 8, sometime after the show itself should have died. Turns out there is a Hell and it’s called Skull Island. The beloved Dan Conner in Hell, hilarious!
The laughs don’t stop there. You remember when Samuel L. Jackson got eaten by a shark in Deep Blue Sea? Well guess what?
Does this plot sound a little convoluted to you? Well this is a movie involving a giant gorilla on an island full of monsters, so what did you expect? Not every movie can have a sensible storyline ok? You need to check your privilege.
Monkey + big = your argument is invalid.