We’ve all imagined being the star of our own TV shows, but what about ones based on our lives? We all have our own unique personality traits, lifestyles and stories to tell, and that’s the beauty of humanity. We’re all special in our own way, and I’m sure our lives would all make interesting television. But this is a music feature, and the purpose of it is for the TNC staff to pick the theme songs to the non-existent TV shows about our lives and giving our reasons why.
We’d also love to know what the theme song to the show about your life would and why you’ve chosen them, so let us know in the comments and we’ll make this a self-reflective party.
Kieran Fisher- Editor-in-Chief
I’m really not all that interesting. In fact, the older I get the more boring I become – and I like it that way. If there was a TV show out there about my life nobody would watch it and it’d get cancelled halfway through the first season. Nobody wants to watch a fat, hairy guy sit in his underwear watching wrestling and really bad movies then sinking into a relaxing bubble bath with coconut scented lotions and a delicious store bought cranberry juice. Sometimes I even eat sandwiches in the tub because eating and cleansing are one in the same to me. Furthermore, as the co-founder of a website like this, it’s pretty obvious that I’m not with the times either. That said, the people who are close to me know that I have a good sense of humour and I’m slightly offbeat. I think Eels’ music is the perfect tone for my existence.
Mike Imboden – Contributing Writer
A TV show about my life would be a very… “interesting show”. It would be a 60 minute “dramedy” – a fairly serious show with funny moments. As best as I can picture it, it would be like Thirtysomething, Roseanne and a pinch of The Wonder Years. A lot of the show would be flashbacks to relate to something happening “now”, most of which would be me yearning for a simpler time. As such, the best song I can think of to run over the credits is Eddie Money’s “I Wanna Go Back.”
Rachel Bellwoar – Contributing Writer
In picking the theme song for the TV show based on my life, the first step was eliminating any songs that I’d heard first on TV – which is most of my music. And for whatever reason was especially difficult to do for songs from Cold War dramas. I don’t know what this says about me but there was a lot of spiraling around Peter Gabriel’s “Games Without Frontiers” (The Americans) and Peter Schilling’s “Major Tom” (Deutschland 83).
Fortunately, the first time I heard Guided by Voices’ “Echos Myron” was on a fan video for (I believe) Buffy, so the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but far enough. The song’s got the obscurer angle, that a TV show about me would need. It’s got lyrics like, “and all of a sudden I’m relatively sane/with everything to lose and nothing to gain/or something like that,” so contradictions. And, at under three minutes, it’s concise, which I like.
The TV show would be called, Trenches, because that is my dream title for a TV show. Inner struggles, the signature coat of detectives. Exactly. And who knows. For my final in Modern Dance I designed choreography to “Echos Myron.” The opening credits make themselves.
Erin Miskell – Contributing Writer
Theme songs are tricky. Too heartfelt, and you’re a bad chick flick. Too aggressive and you’re the bad influence that’s not allowed to drive anywhere. Fortunately, there’s always one thing you can count on: the one song that’s just you. If my life were a TV show, most days, you’d guess its theme song would be something by Slayer.
For me, that honor goes to Gomez’s “Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone.” On the surface, the song just sounds like a good tune. Dig a little deeper, and it’s pretty close to the real me. It features a catchy guitar riff. It knows when to get quiet and when to speak up. And it contains the word “boogaloo,” which I am not ashamed to admit I use on a regular basis. In fact, the title says more about me than you’d readily see: it’s all about love. As much as I’m a smart ass, as much as I proclaim to hate other people, if I love you, there is no better feeling in the world. Not even a warm trombone.
Joseph Perry – Contributing Writer
From the first time I heard Bill Nelson’s song “Contemplation” (from his 1986 album Getting the Holy Ghost Across, which was retitled On a Blue Wing for its American release), it became the top song for the imagined soundtrack of my life, even more so than Nelson’s “Another Day, Another Ray of Hope” or anything from Leonard Cohen’s catalogue (which is a very close call, in many cases), Echo and the Bunnymen, The Smiths, and whatever other songs might have held that spot before. It has maintained that position to this day, edging out songs from Powderfinger, British Sea Power, Kristin Hersh, Liz Phair, and many others. In this song, Nelson fairly paints a lyrical atmosphere and wraps a swirling sonic blanket around his words, which convey a message of the joy in such simple things as falling snow, “The sound of music/The warmth in women’s eyes/In conversation with the quiet side of life.” The song offers reminders of how life can change in the course of a few seconds: “In a moment or two we could be/Face to face/The edge of the city/Exchanging names/Running for cover/Searching the stars/Living on memories/Falling in love/And never forgetting.” I love my sad songs, but dramas aren’t my bag — and drama is something I avoid in my real life as much as possible — so the TV series about my life would have to be a comedy.
Bill Nelson’s “Contemplation” certainly isn’t a song that makes you think of knee-slappers and side-splitters, but I think it could set the tone for an offbeat comedy about the “unbridled enthusiasm” of yours truly, a “cockeyed optimist” (quotes from my all-time favorite sitcom, Seinfeld).
Rebecca Booth – Contributing Writer
Condensing your life into one theme song is a difficult feat. I dabbled with songs that meant a hell of a lot to me, but that referenced a particular episode and not the whole thing. The one song I kept coming back to, and always come back to, especially when I’m feeling low, is Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer”. Without going all Dr. Phil on anyone – put down the exploitative questions and aggressive camera, Dr. Phil, and step away from the celebrity in crisis – I’m currently in a bit of a transitional phase, where things didn’t turn out as I expected and so I’m having to start over a little bit. But, that’s okay; life is a journey. Jon Bon Jovi said so. He also poetically states that you’re already ‘halfway there’, so hang on. Especially as that line can also be read as ‘halfway dead’… “One Foot in the Grave” was already taken as a television theme song, unfortunately, so this was the next best thing.
In all seriousness, “Living on a Prayer’’ is a song about the underdog, yes – it’s one for playing air guitar to as you run around the house in only your Bridget Jones pants screaming the words with utter conviction at the top of your lungs – but it’s also a song with an uplifting, positive message. No matter what your circumstances, the people in your life are the most important thing and love is everything. No matter what stage of the journey you’re at, or if things aren’t quite going to plan, it’s all part of life. So, in the immortal words of Bon Jovi, ‘keep the faith’ and enjoy every minute of it. It’s a beautiful ride.